


all we can do is keep breathing

by theagonyofblank



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-02
Updated: 2010-12-02
Packaged: 2017-10-21 21:48:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/230209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theagonyofblank/pseuds/theagonyofblank
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She remembers the beginning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	all we can do is keep breathing

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [harry potter non-canon ships comment ficathon](http://anythingbutgrey.livejournal.com/774727.html). Prompt was, "it's not a phase" for geewhiz.

**one.**

it comes as a surprise – the breakup, that is.

 _did you even care?_

her voice is quiet and her eyes burn from holding the tears back, and she wills herself not to – she _cannotwillnotshallnot_ let them fall.

she doesn’t want to hear the answer,

and when it comes, she pretends not to feel the sting.

 

 

 **two.**

she remembers the beginning.

just the two of them, next to each other at the pub.

they were never friends

 _(would never be friends)_

but one drink led to two, and two led to seven.

and then it was _lipsandtongueandheatedfleshslickskin_.

that was their beginning.

 

 

 **three.**

sometimes, they went on picnics.

( _i like to come here and think,_ she would say,

and the only response given was that of a smile).

other times, they stayed in.

( _not another muggle film,_ she would say,

and the response would always be, _you love muggles_ ).

sometimes, they bickered.

( _i didn’t leave the dishes out,_ she would say,

and the response would be, _then who did?_ )

other times, they shared secrets.

( _i think i could like you,_ she would say,

and the response would be, _don’t lower your standards,_

even though they’ve both already fallen).

 

 

 **four.**

she misses her.

does not

 _(will not)_

say so,

but she does.

 

 

 **five.**

what she also misses:

the way they used to lie together, limbs tangled and bodies entwined

the way she kissed, demanding and giving, soft and hard, all at the same time

the way she smelled, like fresh sheets on a sunny day,

and perhaps, what she misses the most,

is the way a brief touch, a brief glance,

 _(her mere presence)_

was all it took to brighten her day.

 

 

 **six.**

she tries not to lose sleep over it.

she tosses and turns, shifts and adjusts.

all that knowledge in her head, and she doesn’t _understand_.

 

 

 **seven.**

what she knows is this:

this isn’t her mistake.

 

 

 **eight.**

 _you never told me,_

she says one day, when they’re at another bar, some time later

 _(and this is so familiar yet not)_

there’s a pause, before she goes on,

 _why you did it._

 

 

 **nine.**

it starts again, that night.

 

 

 **ten.**

she tries not to think about it, about how this can only end badly.

it’s like it used to be –

all the good parts,

with laughter and smiles and the warm feeling that settles in her chest whenever she’s around

– but she’s constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.

 

 

 **eleven.**

she cannot

 _(does not want to)_

be left again.

 

 

 **twelve.**

 _i can’t do this anymore,_

her throat is scratchy and there’s a weight behind her eyes, again.

the silence is thick, and the blood rushes to her ears.

when no reply is forthcoming, she turns to leave.

a hand at her wrist stops her, and she looks up into dark eyes.

 

 

 **thirteen.**

 _stay._

 

 

 

-


End file.
